Category: Poems

THE LOUD VOICE (a personal view on the inner critic)

This loud voice tells me that I’m no good,
That no matter how much I try, I’ll end up misunderstood.
She screams and hits me with so much strength,
That makes me break, and I start to feel myself evaporate.
She shows up unexpected and takes me by surprise.
Because I always believe the last time was goodbye.
What do you want from me, you hideous hag?
Just let me be or tell me why I make you mad.
I feel tired of hiding in the dark because of you.
Freedom is what I want, and I will get it too.
Your power over me gets weaker by the minute.
You know it too; it’s why you cling so tightly to it.
My eyes are open now, and I can see the choice
I have to make, to be myself again.

When she dances

When she dances, she connects to something raw and real

To something so primal that she has long time feared.

It moves through her, and it feels like she loses all control

But she knows that it guides her slowly back to her soul.

When she dances, the world is still, and everything disappears

But she moves to the rhythm of her heart and feels free.

The darkness holds her gently, allowing her to be

Her soul gives up the hiding and comes out to gently heal.

When she dances, it looks like she’s alone in the world

But she feels connected to everything that was here before.

The past and the future dissolve from her mind.

And all that is left is this magic moment in time.

When she dances, the sounds and the words call out her name

She replies with a move that brings out a smile on her face.

With every gesture and sway, she shows her true self

Surprising even herself by the things her body conceals.

When she dances, she feels joy and a sense of being whole

She feels parts of herself through music as they’re exposed.

No words are said, and it’s only the moves that reveal

That their union holds such tenderness and love that is real.

When she dances, she knows all good things must come to an end

So, she opens her eyes and brings everything to a stand.

She smiles to herself and, despite feeling scared,

She’s grateful for being here now and for being herself.

A woman’s body

I’m told that the lines on my body need hiding,
And that my skin should always look smooth.
When did our wrinkles become a disgrace?
Aren’t they a sign of the joy we once felt?
Of the love with which life was embraced.
I'm told that my body needs to be thin,
And that I should always look toned.
When did our curves become below the norm?
Aren’t they a sign of fertility and love?
Of sensuality when our clothes hugs them firm?
I’m told that the hair on my body needs cutting,
And that my skin should be soft as a child’s.
When did our body hair become a disgust?
Isn’t that a sign that our bodies have life,
Of the humaness that we were assigned?
I’m told that my grey hair needs to be dyed,
And that I should always look like I’m young.
When did our greys hair become a descent?
Isn’t that a sign that time passed with grace,
Of memories that show that we’re still in the race?
I’m told that… oh, the list can go on, but I won’t,
Too tired to care about who tells me these don’ts.
Time flies by in the blink of an eye, and this body is my own,
I’d rather spend my life falling in love with it truly till I’m gone.

ILLUSIONS OF CHANGE

Yesterday I wanted to save the planet,
Today I think it’s us humans who need saving.
Trapped in the illusion of our grandeur and our values,
It’s easy to forget that Earth has been long-standing.
Humanity evolved in time through learning,
And inspiration came from all the shapes and sounds around us.
Our earthly teachers taught us how to live and how to build,
But we were open then, and we could hear their guidance.
Nature has done its thing and thrived, without our intervention.
How could I be so vain and think that I'm its salvation?
Some say we are connected, and that we need each other,
My truth: nature can live without us, but we would die without it.
It makes me sad to see how much it gives us, not asking a lot back,
Except that we respect it, but we're too self-absorbed for that.
Stuck in the land of old habits, how can we find some meaning?
Maybe by looking at our issues as wounds that need healing?
What if things are not changing because we're pointing fingers?
Because we focus on the problems, and not on fixing things.
I felt a lack of power when I looked up to our leaders,
Demanding justice for the planet in a childish demeanour.
Though I might feel small, I’m also clever and I’m strong,
I think the giants have grown tall because we fed them,
Consuming with our pain and void, and not with our soul.
I’m hanging on to the belief that in my hands I hold the power,
To make them shrink the moment I’m awake or when I’m whole.
Bucky's wise words invite us all to hope and dream. 
He said: create new, better ways, then watch the old ways fall.
So, how will I choose to live my life while I am here?
Will I stay small and scream, and hope someone will hear?
Or will I choose to dream and find in me the power,
To heal myself, and maybe help another feel empowered?
I choose the latter, and won’t rest until I find a way,
To play my part, even if small; to build another step.
We’re all in this together, trying our best to stay alive,
But I dream of a world where we're all whole; and maybe even thrive.

DARE I

Who am I truly underneath, I do not know,

Dare I see the real me and love it all?

Letting go of familiar roles is not easy,

They are comfortable and have their rewards.

At times, my body feels like a stranger,

One I cannot still forgive,

It carries the unseen stains and grit,

That my history conceals.

It’s cold and dark inside my mind,

But light does reach in often.

It shows the parts I had to hide,

And hurts so much to notice.

My sneaky heart that dreams and hides,

Is telling me to listen,

But it wants what it cannot have,

It likes to keep its distance.

My tired soul cries out for freedom,

To be released from the accepted and the static.

It wants to bloom just like a flower but in winter,

Not in the spring or summer as expected.

Dare I see the real me and love it all?

Who am I truly underneath, I do not know,

All that I know is I won’t sleep,

Until my body, mind, heart and soul are all free.

I WANT TO

I want to, says the heart; but it’s too hard.

I want to, says the mind; but it’s not right.

I want to, says the heart; what if it hurts?

I want to, says the mind; what is the point?

I want to, says the heart; but I’m too scared.

I want to, says the mind; but I’m too drained.

I want to, says the heart; but if we fall…

I want to, says the mind… what if we don’t?

SENTIMENTS OF OTHERS

The things I do, they never seem enough,

My mind heeds mainly the sentiments of others.

What makes their views matter much more to me?

Could be that my opinion of myself feels minor.

It’s not by choice I wish I could erase that,

But love came mostly with an if price.

When I could see what’s deeply hidden,

Beneath the layers of this racing

And of the moments of suspicion,

I might see myself with much more mercy.

It takes the joy out of my actions,

And I’m left feeling incomplete.

Biting my tongue brings even more trouble,

And the resentment slowly builds.

It tries to fill an endless hole,

Nothing will ever feel outright.

But I keep trying till I’m tired,

And then I know it’s time to stop.

I use the time of this awareness,

To raise above the foggy ground,

And when I’m up there in the brightness,

I can jump off the merry-go-round.

YEARNING

When I looked at you, I saw myself less,

I wish I had what you had, but was it best?

What made me think that I’m not good?

I may have felt misunderstood.

It was by me, and not by you,

I just tried to fit a role untrue.

I felt the yearning for the trait in you,

And seem to think it’s hard to get.

But little did I stop to think,

That what I have is just as good.

To match my flair with yours was silly,

It made our beings seem unreal.

Instead, I focused on my assets,

Smoothing them out, until they’re clear.

I still have moments when I’m yearning,

Whenever I see other people shine.

It’s just that now the veil is lifted,

And I can see me just as bright.

CHASING VENUS

Many have tried to catch her in their lifetimes,

I must admit I too was one of them.

Imagine my surprise when later I discovered,

That she was hiding all along, inside my chest,

You sneaky Goddess, why did you keep so quiet?

You had me running like a lunatic in circles.

I thought I saw you in some humans in my springtime,

And that was hard to deal with I felt broken.

Summer arrived, and I believed I learnt my lessons,

It turned out I wasn’t, was still chasing fables.

But at the end of summer, something shifted,

So, I pressed pause and did some thinking.

During this time, some guides have often told me,

That what I seek was not something I’m lacking.

Autumn showed up, and as the old was falling,

I started to believe what they were saying.

Then slowly you emerged, in all your beauty,

And told me that the reason you were hiding,

Was not because you wanted, you just had to,

The walls around my heart were just too high.

But I see you now, and that is deeply soothing,

I want to learn how to embrace your essence,

To see what’s all the fuss about, true love they call it,

Though it appears, it’s not so easy to discover.

And even though my love life has been bitter,

I can attest to you I wouldn’t change one thing, no more.

LOVE YOURSELF

Open your eyes, and see who doesn’t see you,

The ones who think they do but don’t.

Don’t try to fit into their fantasy of love it’s tiring,

My dear, must you betray your soul?

The parts that feel unloved and sad,

Deserve to be acknowledged.

They might feel ugly and ashamed,

But carry hidden treasures.

Be true to you, and love yourself,

That is the thing that matters.

Then one day you’ll find someone,

Who’ll love you even shattered.

So, peel away your soothing layers,

Even if you feel afraid.

When all that’s left of you, is realness,

The one you seek might just be there.