Author: andrisme

THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE BLACK LAMB

There once was a girl with long green hair. She liked to travel, sometimes by foot, and sometimes with her heart and mind. In her journeys, she connected to magical worlds and wise beings who shared their knowledge with her; this helped her to discover herself. This story is about one of those journeys.

The girl with the green hair was feeling a bit restless that day, so she decided to travel to the South. The sky was grey, but there was a warm and gentle breeze in the air. She walked for quite a while, lost in her thoughts. Suddenly she heard someone singing. She followed the sound until she reached a vibrant green meadow full of colourful flowers. There, a little girl with golden hair was spinning around, looking at the sky, and singing the same thing again and again: “Sky, beautiful sky, take me away with you. I want to play with your stars and play with my star too.”

The girl with the green hair looked at the little girl mesmerised. That song… she’d never heard it before yet, it felt so familiar to her. She closed her eyes, and as she listed to it, a wave of sadness washed over her. Then, there was silence; when she opened her eyes, the little girl was standing in front of her, looking at her with big blue eyes.

“What are you doing there?” she asked in a gentle voice.

“I was listening to your beautiful song. So, you want to play with the stars.”

The little girl looked up to the sky and replied with sadness in her voice: “I want to play with my friend, and he’s a star now.”

“What’s your friend’s name? Tell me a bit about him.”

“His name was Negrutu, and he was black and had a white star on his forehead.”

“He was a lamb”, said the Little One noticing the confusion on the girl with the green hair’s face. “Animals can be friends with humans too.”

“That is very true”, said the girl with the green hair smiling.

The little girl smiled. “We used to come out and play every day for hours. He would eat some grass, then sit down and put his head on my lap. He loved hugs, and I loved hugging him too; he was so soft! Sometimes he would push me gently with his head that had tiny horns coming out on. I would lower my head and put it against his, and we would gently head-wrestle; sometimes, I let him win. He was always so happy to see me and play with me. Now I’m never going to see him again, and nobody understands that I miss a lot.” Tears started to roll down her face.

“I understand that you miss him. It sounds like he was a great friend and that you two had a beautiful connection that was deeper than words. What happened to him?”

“Well, Easter came and…”

The Little One couldn’t finish her sentence, and she didn’t have to. The girl with the green hair realised at that moment what happened to the lamb. She was aware of the customs in those parts of the world where humans sacrificed certain animals for their religious holidays.

The little girl was now shaking from crying, so the girl with the green hair got down on her knees and started to gently caress her hair; the Little One jumped into her arms.

“Losing a close friend is not easy, and I can tell how much you loved him from the way you talk about him. The fact that he chose you to be his friend shows that you are a pretty amazing human because animals can feel when someone has a good heart.”

The little girl smiled. “Yes, I loved him a lot, and I know he loved me too.”

“I’m sure he did. You know what I believe? That, when two souls love each other, their hearts are connected forever. Even though one of them might leave, they never fully go away because a part of them stays in the other one’s heart. They become a guardian angel for the one who is left behind. So, maybe your friend is now watching over you and making sure that you are ok.”

The little girl closed her eyes and was silent for a while. “Yes, I believe that he’s here. But I still miss him because I can’t see him or play with him, and my heart hurts sometimes.”

“I know it does, and when that happens, it’s ok to feel sad and to cry. In time it will start to hurt less and less.”

The Little One looked more peaceful now and was smiling. “I want to go home now.”

The two of them held hands and started to walk. The sky was now clear and as blue as the Little One’s eyes; the sun was shining brightly, just like her golden hair. Walking behind them was a black lamb with a white star on his forehead.

ILLUSIONS OF CHANGE

Yesterday I wanted to save the planet,
Today I think it’s us humans who need saving.
Trapped in the illusion of our grandeur and our values,
It’s easy to forget that Earth has been long-standing.
Humanity evolved in time through learning,
And inspiration came from all the shapes and sounds around us.
Our earthly teachers taught us how to live and how to build,
But we were open then, and we could hear their guidance.
Nature has done its thing and thrived, without our intervention.
How could I be so vain and think that I'm its salvation?
Some say we are connected, and that we need each other,
My truth: nature can live without us, but we would die without it.
It makes me sad to see how much it gives us, not asking a lot back,
Except that we respect it, but we're too self-absorbed for that.
Stuck in the land of old habits, how can we find some meaning?
Maybe by looking at our issues as wounds that need healing?
What if things are not changing because we're pointing fingers?
Because we focus on the problems, and not on ways of solving.
I felt a lack of power when I looked up to our leaders,
Demanding justice for the planet in a childish demeanour.
Though I might feel small, I’m also clever and I’m strong,
I think the giants have grown tall because we fed them,
Consuming with our pain and void, and not with our soul.
I’m hanging on to the belief that in my hands I hold the power,
To make them shrink the moment I’m awake or when I’m whole.
Bucky's wise words invite us all to hope and dream.
He said: create new, better ways, then watch the old ways fall.
So, how will I choose to live my life while I am here?
Will I stay small and scream, and hope someone will hear?
Or will I choose to dream and find in me the power,
To heal me, and maybe help another feel empowered?
I choose the latter, and won’t rest until I find a way,
To play my part, even if small; to build another step.
We’re all in this together, trying our best to stay alive,
But I dream of a world where we're all whole; maybe even thrive.

DARE I

Who am I truly underneath, I do not know,

Dare I see the real me and love it all?

Letting go of familiar roles is not easy,

They are comfortable and have their rewards.

At times, my body feels like a stranger,

One I cannot still forgive,

It carries the unseen stains and grit,

That my history conceals.

It’s cold and dark inside my mind,

But light does reach in often.

It shows the parts I had to hide,

And hurts so much to notice.

My sneaky heart that dreams and hides,

Is telling me to listen,

But it wants what it cannot have,

It likes to keep its distance.

My tired soul cries out for freedom,

To be released from the accepted and the static.

It wants to bloom just like a flower but in winter,

Not in the spring or summer as expected.

Dare I see the real me and love it all?

Who am I truly underneath, I do not know,

All that I know is I won’t sleep,

Until my body, mind, heart and soul are all free.

I WANT TO

I want to, says the heart; but it’s too hard.

I want to, says the mind; but it’s not right.

I want to, says the heart; what if it hurts?

I want to, says the mind; what is the point?

I want to, says the heart; but I’m too scared.

I want to, says the mind; but I’m too drained.

I want to, says the heart; but if we fall

I want to, says the mind; what if we won’t?

SENTIMENTS OF OTHERS

The things I do, they never seem enough,

My mind heeds mainly the sentiments of others.

What makes their views matter much more to me?

Could be that my opinion of myself feels minor.

It’s not by choice I wish I could erase that,

But love came mostly with an if price.

When I could see what’s deeply hidden,

Beneath the layers of this racing

And of the moments of suspicion,

I might see myself with much more mercy.

It takes the joy out of my actions,

And I’m left feeling incomplete.

Biting my tongue brings even more trouble,

And the resentment slowly builds.

It tries to fill an endless hole,

Nothing will ever feel outright.

But I keep trying till I’m tired,

And then I know it’s time to stop.

I use the time of this awareness,

To raise above the foggy ground,

And when I’m up there in the brightness,

I can jump off the merry-go-round.

YEARNING

When I looked at you, I saw myself less,

I wish I had what you had, but was it best?

What made me think that I’m not good?

I may have felt misunderstood.

It was by me, and not by you,

I just tried to fit a role untrue.

I felt the yearning for the trait in you,

And seem to think it’s hard to get.

But little did I stop to think,

That what I have is just as good.

To match my flair with yours was silly,

It made our beings seem unreal.

Instead, I focused on my assets,

Smoothing them out, until they’re clear.

I still have moments when I’m yearning,

Whenever I see other people shine.

It’s just that now the veil is lifted,

And I can see me just as bright.

CHASING VENUS

Many have tried to catch her in their lifetimes,

I must admit I too was one of them.

Imagine my surprise when later I discovered,

That she was hiding all along, inside my chest,

You sneaky Goddess, why did you keep so quiet?

You had me running like a lunatic in circles.

I thought I saw you in some humans in my springtime,

And that was hard to deal with I felt broken.

Summer arrived, and I believed I learnt my lessons,

It turned out I wasn’t, was still chasing fables.

But at the end of summer, something shifted,

So, I pressed pause and did some thinking.

During this time, some guides have often told me,

That what I seek was not something I’m lacking.

Autumn showed up, and as the old was falling,

I started to believe what they were saying.

Then slowly you emerged, in all your beauty,

And told me that the reason you were hiding,

Was not because you wanted, you just had to,

The walls around my heart were just too high.

But I see you now, and that is deeply soothing,

I want to learn how to embrace your essence,

To see what’s all the fuss about, true love they call it,

Though it appears, it’s not so easy to discover.

And even though my love life has been bitter,

I can attest to you I wouldn’t change one thing, no more.

LOVE YOURSELF

Open your eyes, and see who doesn’t see you,

The ones who think they do but don’t.

Don’t try to fit into their fantasy of love it’s tiring,

My dear, must you betray your soul?

The parts that feel unloved and sad,

Deserve to be acknowledged.

They might feel ugly and ashamed,

But carry hidden treasures.

Be true to you, and love yourself,

That is the thing that matters.

Then one day you’ll find the one,

Who’ll love you even shattered.

So, peel away your soothing layers,

Even if you feel afraid.

When all that’s left of you, is realness,

The one you seek will sure be there.

THERE’S A BIRD KNOCKING ON MY WINDOW

There’s a bird knocking on my window.

“Come on, come out” she said to me,

You’ve been in for too long, you’re feeling blue.

Your mind is restless, and so are you.

Your thoughts cut like a sword

But you don’t have a clue.

These walls can give you shelter,

But not from the real you.

Your soul is tired and wants to fly,

Come see the magic that surrounds you.”

It’s raining and it’s muddy, but nature’s always joyful.

The birdsongs concert soothes and heals,

All hearts that want to listen.

A squirrel enjoys her dug-up meals

While watching me intently.

Green tiny buds pop from the ground,

I’m careful not to squash them.

I see pure joy of puddles on tiny human faces

It shows me fun is just a mindset.

The rain and wind caress my face,

And make me feel alive.

I wonder how someone can sleep

And not see nature thrive.

There was a bird knocking on my window.

Thank you, dear friend,

I feel I’m me again.